Today I was working another Udemy course to add to my collection of courses.
In my Udemy courses I go over some experiences within my life to pass on wisdom to my audience.
As I was going over my past experiences I noticed that I became more depressed as I started to write about them
As I kept going the negative emotions kept intensifying…
To the point where I wanted a cigarette or a delicious food to relieve me from this pain.
I didn't, because it is Thursday and I currently fasting.
I took a rest from my work and analysed my thoughts and feelings
Is that? Is that what happens?
We feel emotional pain from our past where certain paths did not play out.
Certain pleasures were not attained, Resources not extracted, Dreams not fulfilled…
You spiral in that cycle of thought if I could just got this…I would be happy
But that's the past, its gone now, you can never have it or know of the life with it.
I grateful that I am fasting otherwise I would of unconsciously reached for the gratification
Now after observing the pain, I realise that I must accept it.
And then look towards the philosophy of Kierkegaard.
Any pleasures that I were to have obtained in the past would have only made me more unconscious to myself and my existence.
That path would have left me further from the truth and salvation.
And because I would not be able to understand myself I would be further trapped by my unconscious thinking and doing.
Which would result in a deeper pain .
The overcoming of pain from your past starts with acceptance of it
And realisation that all pain is inescapable – it is either now or later
And it is always best to have it now.